Monday, December 14, 2009

C'mon boy, jump through that hoop!

I'm in the process of applying for College again.

First, they want me to fill out an application, complete with transcripts and employment record.
No problem. Oh yeah, send a cheque for $60 along with it. I knew there was a catch....

Next, I find out everything was to their liking, and now I'm waiting to do a "Reading skills assessment test". Again, no problem. I've been speaking English for a few years now, and I live with a friggin' editor. I should nail this one. Oh yeah, send another $35.

After this is done, I'll find out if I'm accepted, only to send them many more payments and be dealt with a pile of stress for my effort. Ah, to be in high school again.

I'd like to see where my money actually goes, rather than them just telling me "it's for administrative costs".

Monday, December 7, 2009

An Internet bully? There's such a thing?

I've recently purchased a Playstation 3.
One of the great things about this system is the wireless Internet connection. It allows me to play multi - player games with people from around the globe.

I've always made fun of those guys who wear the headsets, co-ordinate attacks with their friends, and just take the game way too seriously.

Last night just further re-enforced my distaste for these nerds.
When these guys are wearing the Blue tooth headsets, you can hear everything they say in real time through the T.V.
As one game ended, one user who plays this game way too often (something like 5000 kills - whatever) was making comments on the new guy.

"What? 0-11? (Referring to no kills, and being killed 11 times)

"Is this guy serious? 0-11? What a waste of skin!"

"How is that possible? 0-11? Huh? Just give up man!"

I had to laugh. My lack of online gaming skills was actually causing this guy stress. He was livid.
You should have heard his reaction when I was placed on his team for the next session.....

Some people need to take a break and go outside for a while. Interact with females, move out their parent's basements. And relax when I accidentally shoot my own team mates... ;)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Falltime ramblings

It is staying unseasonably warm here. I love that the air is crisp in the evenings, but it warms up during the day, so much that you only need a sweater.

Ellery is sick with a fever, and she's a little more sluggish than usual, but we're watching her like a hawk, and she seems to be improving.

I have applied to go back to school. I figure 5 years away is enough, and if I don't get motivated now, it'll never happen for me. I'm nervous, but that will pass as soon as I get into the swing of things. FYI, I'm staying with nursing.

Ali and I are both working at our other jobs quite frequently. The extra money is nice, and it will come in handy during Christmas time.

I am entertained by Ellery more and more every day. She repeats everything, and her personality is a good mix of mine and Ali's. She has the best dance moves I've ever seen an 18 month have. It's interesting to think of what she will grow up to be. My money is on something where she can debate a lot - possibly politics.

I was trying to plan a trip down South to an NFL game again this year. I thought this would be a fun thing for my dad and I to do, but the timing was off for every game that I tried to attend.
Sometimes I think it would be nice not to work!

That's it in a nutshell. Talk to you later.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Oh no, it's the H1N1 shot!!!!

Yesterday, I waited in line for about 15 minutes and got the feared shot.
I figure I want to be covered to protect Ali and Ellery, and we do have a lot of patients that come from the higher risk areas of the province.

So many people are on the fence about this shot. The only issue that I have with this flu shot, is that it's not available without the preservative Thimerosal. This a derivative from mercury, and there haven't been sufficient scientific test done to show what effects this may have on kids from 6-35 months.

If we do decide to get Ellery immunized, I'd opt for the Thimerosal free one.

Aside form that, it was entertaining to watch some staff play up their reactions from the shot, varying from a sore arm, to sweating, nausea, or headache. I was talking with a friend of mine, and we said this would be such an easy way to squeeze a few extra sick days out of the system.
I for one, do not abuse my sick time, so I'll report for duty as any good employee would.
For the record, my arm is just slightly tender. Maybe I should stay home...;)

Monday, October 26, 2009

The time of year when stuff begins to matter....

As October wraps her cold hands around our waists, this can only mean a few things;

A. Football season is winding up, and all teams (except Toronto ha ha ) are jockeying for playoff positions. I love going to the stadium when it's cooler out. This to me is true football weather for true football fans!

B. Shopping takes on a completely different meaning. For most of the year, I wonder around the malls, completely disinterested in the stores. As we tally up our Christmas lists, I begin to take notice in the shops as I carefully scout out potential gifts for my family.

C. Sweatpants and socks. Most of the year, neither one of these touch my legs. As the weather turns, I look forward to putting on my favorite pair of sweatpants as soon as I get in the door.
Now if only I can get Ellery to keep socks on her little feet......

D. Christmas day. Ellery is getting to be that age now where we can ask her if Santa is on his way. This should be fun!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Shit....I can't wear that.

As I was walking through Wal-Mart last night, I decided that I should buy some chap stick for my lips. The weather is turning rather cold, and when I combine that with lots of cheering at football games, my lips become rather chapped.

I entered the chap stick/facial beauty isle, quickly scanned the products, and grabbed "cherry".

Great. Done.

When I got home, and actually looked at what I bought, it turns out it was a little more than "cherry".

It was "high gloss cherry, with a hint of pink".

Shit...I can't wear that.

I just goes to show you what a man reads, and what a label actually says.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

What's the big deal?!?!?

At my workplace, the staff are all required to share one washroom.

Add up the 7 nurses, 2 health care aides, numerous residents and other Doctors, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, dietitians, and any other allied health providers, and that equals quite a few trips to the can during a 12 hour shift.

It's funny watching people on the way to the washroom. If they're just going in for a, ahem, short visit, there's usually no problem.
But watching a person on their way to have a sit down rest, it's like watching Chuck Norris sneak up to Charlie's hut in Missing in Action 1 and 2.....

First, they look around. Next, they casually walk in the direction of the washroom. Then, when nobody is looking, they duck inside, ensuring to close both doors on the way.

Sometimes, if I time it just right, I'll try to enter the washroom just as somebody else is leaving. If they were in there for a while, their face turns red, and they bolt down the hall like they've just stolen an old lady's purse. After a few seconds, the stink hits you, and you know exactly why they were trying to outrun their shadow.

My question is this - What is the big deal? Everybody goes to the bathroom. The only time I'm embarrassed is when I know there's someone right outside the door and they usually try opening the door just as I let out a little excess air.

On to another subject. There are some people that I work with that actually try to flush paper towels. I don't know what these people are used to wiping with, but our paper towels are the equivalent of a fine sand paper - dipped in shards of glass.

Our toilet has been plugged numerous times. So many times in fact, that our manager actually had to post a sign in the washroom stating "No flushing paper towels". How stupid can some people be?

So, I'll end this little soap box with this little nugget (no pun intended). If you do have to use the facilities for a stinky sit down time out, please use the provided air freshener. The next person would appreciate it.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hip Hip Hip Hip


I went to the Winnipeg Concert hall last night to see of my favorite bands, The Tragically Hip.

Just as they were finishing their set, somebody threw a drink from the upper level.
This showered us with an unknown alcohol plus the distinct smell of 7-up.

This was the breaking point for me. The free unwanted alcohol shower, coupled with the countless times that I had to move so people could do a beer run, my nerves were shot.
I went to enjoy a show, not move out of the way 100's of times, listening to the drunk idiots explain why they had to piss so badly or that they had a call on their phone.

I thank God that I wasn't as annoying as a young man. I hardly ever drank at concerts, plus my fear of pressing shoulder to shoulder with another guy in the urinals pretty much assures that I will not drink copious amounts of anything.

The only thing I am guilty of is bellowing out the words to every song, as excited as the first time I saw them play.

P.S. The count has now reached 10. I've vowed to see them 30 times before I leave this world, although watching them last night with a little more grey in their hair, and some beer guts starting to appear, I may make that number 20.

The Tragically Hip are one of the best bands that Canada has to offer. They are currently doing a tour of smaller venues. Be sure to check them out if they come to a city near you.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Failed NFLers/rejects report here

Up here in Canada, our beloved football league consists of 8 team, spanning from British Columbia, all the way to Montreal Quebec.

This is an exciting league, with such all stars as Doug Flutie, Warren Moon, and the great Joe Thiesman playing parts of their careers here.

As some player from "the league" get in trouble down South, they find their way back into the NFL by playing here for a season or two until they are noticed, or their suspensions are served.
Ricky Williams, star RB of the Miami Dolphins, was suspended by the NFL for violating drug polices and bailing out on the team. He came here for a year, stunk it up, and ultimately got his call back to the NFL.

My beloved Blue Bombers have been rumored to sign disgruntled DB Adam "Pacman" Jones. I know he's a talent, but again, some of his off field antics (involved in shootings/assault charges) have over shadowed his play. After being traded by Tennessee to Dallas last year, he was released following the 2008 season.
He is scheduled to arrived by next week at the latest. If he can keep his ego in check, I welcome him with open arms. After all, our return game has been terrible thus far.

Also rumored to be in talks with the Bombers is former #2 pick Charles Rogers who stunk it up while in Detroit, never fulfilling his expectations. I think I'll pass on this one.

So, if anyone has any relatives or friends that have a football pedigree and are looking to renew their careers, have them forward their resumes to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Just be sure to attach an extra sticky note to the page if they're a quarterback.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sure signs of Fall...and some depressing stuff..then some happy stuff

The NFL season is about to start.

My Broncos look like a team is disarray, first trading away their cry baby Pro Bowl QB, now suspending their only good receiver Brandon Marshall. Again, I wish these whiny humans would actually have to try a real job for once, then they'd have something to cry about.....

My final week of holidays is fast approaching.
I'm taking a friend of mine fishing for a few days. He's had one hell of a shitty year on a personal level, so I think a few days of R & R are in order.
On that note, it has been a shitty year for a few people. My best friend Mike's dad suffered from a series of TIA's (small strokes) and has months of physiotherapy ahead of him. He is a strong man, one who has beaten cancer, so I know he'll pull through this as well.

Mike's wife also has had her share of drama on her side of the family too. She's currently dealing with Cancer in the family, and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
I read somewhere that soon, 1 in 3 people will be touched by cancer. That sucks.

On a happier note, Ellery is growing like a weed. She's repeating everything now, and actually said her first cuss word. Ali was telling me a story, and she used the word "shit".
E heard this, and walked away repeating it several times. Ali and I looked at each other, and vowed to clean up our language around little ears now.

I'm in the final stages of planning my next tattoo. It's a simple thing in honor of Ellery.
I guess the full back piece of Chuck Norris will have to wait.

I have the itch to see another NFL game. I might ask my parents/in-laws to chip in and help cover the cost of me to go see a game in Denver as a Christmas gift. We'll see....

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Acca Dacca

Tonight, we see one of the most influential rock bands of our time.

AC/DC will be playing at the Winnipeg stadium, to around 45,000 people.
This will be the biggest rock show that I've been to in a long time.

I waited in line for over an hour yesterday, just to buy some AC/DC gear. God knows the lineups will be brutal today, even though they opened at 11 a.m.

So, I'm ready to rock, and watch Angus melt my face off.

The only thing I'm missing is the mullet.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Mid Summer update

It has been unseasonably cool here. We have broken records for 8, going on 9 consecutive months of cooler than normal weather.

My days off are spent with Ellery, and we would normally be at the park, or trying out her new inflatable pool, but the crappy weather has limited us to the odd park visit.

This kid is beginning to love to climb things. It started at the playground, rushing up and down to keep up with the bigger kids. E tries to socialize with the kids that she meets, but most just stand there like duds. I guess they're a mirror image of the parents, because the parents don't have much personality either.
Here's an example - Ellery walked up to a little girl wearing Dora shoes. She pointed to the shoes and said "Dora!". The older girl, probably around 5, curled up her arms just as a kid does to avoid a dog, and looked the other way. She didn't even acknowledge Ellery's presence.
I guess Ellery intimidates kids too.

My Bombers are slowly gaining ground. We now have a new Quarterback in camp, and if he can get the Offence going, we will have a well rounded team, as our special teams and Defense has been kicking some serious ass.

I made it out for our annual fishing trip with the father in law.
The weather was cold and rainy ALL WEEK, but we toughed it out, and still managed to catch lots of fish.
As we would sit around the cabin each night, usually over drinks, I would just sit back and listen to our conversations. I thought of what another person would think of our topics, and language.
This was male bonding at it's best. Lot's of cussing, belching, passing gas, and laughing.
Listening to my father in law and his childhood best friend hurdle insults at each other was quite entertaining. I felt as though I was a part of the crew once those insults were directed at me.

It was fun to hear a lot of their stories from when they were younger.


So, with two final weeks of holidays approaching, this signals the end of our summer months.
I look forward to the Fall, taking walks in the cool evening air, and NFL football.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My daughter - the Intimidator....

It's funny watching people's reactions to my 14 month old daughter.
As we are weaving our way through the isles of a grocery store, or deking the clothes racks in other stores, Ellery is constantly on the lookout.

She has a radar for those who fear babies.
She'll stare them down, often craning her neck just to peer past my shoulder.

As the person nervously makes eye contact, Ellery slowly raises her hand and gives them the cutest wave ever. Of course, to these people scared shitless, this wave looks like the way a Great White toys with their next meal by bumping into them before devouring them.

Some people try to play it off like they don't see her. I'll watch as eye contact is clearly made, then the person will quickly dart their eyes in another direction. When Ellery says "hi" in her sweet little voice, to me it's cute. To others, it sounds like a Lioness' roar....

At Safeway today, an older man actually fell out of line after the Intimidator said hi.
I laughed and rolled my eyes, and as we were walking away, Ellery gave him the biggest smile and waved goodbye to him. She was toying with the weak.

Monday, July 27, 2009

It's not mine.....I swear.


Today, I received a "Glow" magazine in the mail.

Advertised as "Canada's beauty and fashion magazine", this is a publication I've never paged through.
This mag was addressed to me, not Ali, so I'm confused.
Who has my name on a mailing list, and more importantly, did my neighbours see?

Friday, July 24, 2009

Watch what you say

Everybody has read one story or another about a person posting something on their blog site, their F.acebook account, or saying something in an e-mail that has come back to haunt them.

I'll give you two examples of idiots that I work with (or near).

The first girl has about as poor of a work ethic as you'll ever see. She's constantly calling in "sick" after a night of binge drinking.
When she actually does show up, she has to lay down and sleep for 3 hours of her 8 hour shift because she's "sick" again, or there's a "family emergency" requiring her to leave early.

A while back, one of her family members was having a social. Of course, this girl followed suit, and quickly called in "sick". A few hours later, her F.acebook status says "Uncle's party tonight. I need a date, ha ha ha!".

Not only is that stupid, it's also a slap in the face of all of her other co-workers that were working that day (me), leaving them short for their entire 12 hour shift.
Apparently, she got reprimanded for this, and I say it's about friggin' time.


The second example features another associate of mine, complaining about her fellow co-workers and peers - on F.acebook. I guess she forgot that half of her friends were on F.acebook, and she was quickly let go from her job. I don't know all of the details, but it must have been some pretty heavy shit to actually lose your job over.

So, ladies and gents, watch your P's and Q's.

(How often do you use the letter Q anyway?)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I finally surprised her

As I was searching the Internet a few weeks back, I noticed that one of Ali's favorite bands was stopping in our city as part of a cross Canada tour.
I quickly looked at my schedule, and to no surprise, saw that I was working - again.
So far, I've worked during my birthday, Ali's birthday, our anniversary, so why not this day too?

After talking a co-worker of mine into making a switch, I got the day off. Now all I had to do was make sure Ali didn't find out about this evening.
I hired my cousin to watch Ellery for the night. Ali and I made our way out the door. She was asking me the whole time about where we were going.

"Are we going to the cheap theatre?"

"Nope."

"Ah, we're going to the IMAX aren't we?"

"No, it's better."

As we parked the car in a rather sketchy part of town, Ali was getting more nervous by the minute. She kept telling me that she was feeling sick to her stomach.

We walked around the corner, and there by the front doors was the band's van and their little trailer with the words "Said the Whale" on the side.

Ali let out an excited squeal, usually reserved for Christmas time, or good birthday presents.

That alone was good enough for me. Everything worked out exactly as I planned it.

It was a good night of music, and local beer. We have to do it again soon.

As a matter of fact, I think I'll take her to another concert on Monday. This is her belated birthday present, and I think she'll quite enjoy this one too.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Canada day, and the rules that apply

Today is Canada's birthday. Millions of Canadians show their pride by wearing red and white, and waving tiny Canadian flags about.

This day also holds special meaning to the hundreds of thousands of immigrant Canadians.
They leave their respective war torn countries, or poverty to find a new life for their families here in a peaceful country. Most of them, anyway.

We have an increasing number of immigrants here in Manitoba. I cannot even begin to fathom the shit that they saw from a very early age, be it from rape or starvation, to watching their own family members being slaughtered right in front of them.
Some of these youths find the transition to Canadian life hard. I put the blame on the Government for not giving these people a proper orientation to our laws, and the way things work here.

Young kids end up on the streets, forming gangs, and committing crimes. Sometimes it's just a "kids being kids" attitude from the law enforcement, and just like every other child under the age of 16, the criminal youth justice act protects them from any kind of true punishment.....

Here's the part that I don't fully understand. If these kids are coming from a violent country, why wouldn't they be the first ones in line to protest violence, rather than pick up a machete and hack some other kid's arm just to get their MP3 player?
Again, the law steps in and protects them by saying "They come from a violent country. It's all they know..."
Really? So there's nothing wrong with that? We can all just say "I didn't know we weren't supposed to shoot that grocery clerk in the face. It's all I know".

I love being a Canadian. I love this country more than any other place in the world, but our government really has to grow some balls.

The Canadian deported one violent immigrant, after numerous assaults and robberies, citing that he had no chance of rehabbing.
Maybe if they put the fear of sending people back to the hell that they came from, they would behave like human beings after all.

So, happy Canada day to the many people who truly appreciate and deserve a better life here. Just give that bad ass kid a kick in the ass for me, and tell them to smarten up. Then apologize, because that's what Canadians do...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Care for a drink?


It bugs me when people under the age of 30 drink wine.
To me, wine seems like a sophisticated drink. Most people under that age are not sophisticated.

I hate when people say "We just sat around, drank some good wine, and chilled."
First, how the hell can they know the difference between a good wine and a bad one?
Second, do they think that they're in that "artsy" group that actually hangs out, just to drink wine?

Some of my co-workers drink wine. Never mind the fact that when we have a social gathering, they drink enough wine to kill a horse, and end up puking it all up in the neighbor's yard. Remember, they enjoy a fine Merlot. It doesn't burn the esophagus as much when it's spewing out at 100 miles per hour out of every orifice in your upper body...

Then there's the people that drink wine with pizza. Pizza is made to be had with beer, not wine.
Imagine the messy table with napkins, opened pizza boxes, chicken wings - then a fucking wine glass beside it. That's so wrong.

I've tried different wines. I've had white, red, blush, whatever. It should be made to drink in the house, out of sight from your buddies, and please don't try to bring that shit to my next Superbowl party. I'm not serving chilled pheasant in a glass, escargot, or your grandparents.

Wine is for 30+. Remember that.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A late night conversation

As we were lying in bed last night, I was just about to drift off into a nice deep sleep, when this takes place;

Ali : I feel like watching "Return to Oz"

me : What the hell is that?

Ali : You know, the sequel to Wizard of Oz?

me : Oh, yeah.

-Pause for a second -

me : I wonder if Toto is still alive...

Ali : What?!?

me : You know, the dog....

Ali : That movie was made in, like 1935....

me : So, no? It still could be.

Ali : (Laughs) You're a loser. Good night.

I love bedtime.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hanging out at the park

This weekend brought the nicest weather we've seen yet. Two full days of nothing but sunshine and warm weather hovering around the 25-27 degree mark!

The family and I spent two separate days at Assiniboine park. It's nice to see so many people out with their pets/kids/friends, hanging out enjoying the weekend.

On that note, we're going to buy Ellery a wading pool for the yard. I might have to buy one big enough for me to fit in it too.

Welcome here, Summer. It's nice to have you here.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

SO you think I'll admit this?!?!

One of my guilty pleasures lately is the show "So You Think You Can Dance".
This show features an audition from amateur dancers across America. The list is narrowed down to 20, then they whittle the list down to one winner.

Ali has watched this show from the beginning, and I find myself watching with her more often than not. Plus, the side stories form some dancers are enough to make you want to cry.
You know, the 17 year old girl who had no money growing up, so her dad worked the job in the factory, then washed dishes at night to put her through dance class, just so he could end up getting cancer, and on his death bed, requesting that she enter this competition only to be the dark horse and America's favorite little orphan, then lose in the finals? Yeah. That good.

Plus, this show also demonstrates to me how out of shape I am, and that I never have a chance of being as physically gifted as these young kids.

I mean, I'm so great, there's nobody smarter/more handsome/awesome than me. I'm the best at everything that I do. ;)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Today marks the dawn of a new era. This will begin a new tradition of me and Ellery (and hopefully more kids) attending Blue Bomber training camp and home games.

I've got our matching jerseys laid out ready to go. It has been a long, painful off season.

Get ready to join the Blue Revolution. Ellery and I are on board. Are you?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'm Frankenstein!!!

I'm addicted to surgery. ;)
Yesterday, I went in to have a chronic ingrown toenail removed.
It wasn't the entire nail, but just a wedge on the medial (outside) edge.

I thought the Doctor would be able to do it in the safe confines of his clinic, but it was actually considered a day surgery.

Working in a hospital, I get used to all kinds of different smells. However, once I walked into the operating room, an overwhelming stench of Formaldehyde filled the air. It was actually the chemical called Phenol, which they use to cauterize the nail bed after the nail is removed, and the smell quickly took me back to high school science class, dissecting the frogs and piglets....

I found myself getting nervous. As I lay on the table, the nurse asked if I was worried. My high blood pressure was a dead give away. I felt calm, but I guess my body didn't know what to expect.
I found that I was actually less nervous about my back surgery years ago. I guess that it was the point of me being awake while somebody sliced away at my body that bothered me.

This all helped me re-enforce the importance of keeping my patients as calm and reassured as possible before their surgeries. I think it is easy for nurses to forget that these people have worries and concerns about their upcoming procedures.

After the initial small sting of the freezing, the nail was lopped off, and I was on my merry way. Now I have a week off with Ellery, and rookie training camp starts tomorrow!

I should plan surgery every year at this time.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

We've got rednecks!!


Last week, we had some new neighbors move in.
They live in the three bedroom apartment across from us, and from my count, I see 7 of them

Let me paint the picture;

The dad is about 45, wears Harley Davidson T-shirts with the sleeves ripped off, camo pants, a Nascar hat, and of course he has the redneck goatee.

The mom is dressed like she's straight from the 80's with puffy hair, and tight black jeans on.

The angry 15 year old son is full of angst, as evidenced by his huge screaming fit at both parents this evening. Of course, they patched things up with a family cigarette break on the balcony.....

There are two younger daughters around 12 and 9, and two other boys probably around 6 and 8.

I think Ali jinxed the block when she said how nice and safe our area was. Now we have our own version of Dog the Bounty Hunter just outside our window.

Ellery's first words will now be "Get me a damn beer, woman!"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Happy 1st birthday to mini-me


Today marks Ellery's first birthday.
At this time last year, we were making our way to the hospital, where we would spend the next 12 hours eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Our little girl has been the best thing that has happened to us. She has made me more patient, more caring, more sensitive and more aware of my surroundings.


It makes me warm and fuzzy whenever somebody says that she looks just like me.
It must be a good thing if everyone says she's sooooo cute, right?

Everyday with her is an adventure. She makes new sounds, new faces, new words, and I never thought that a 1 year old could have such an attitude when she doesn't get her way!

Happy birthday E. Daddy and mommy love you more than the world.

Monday, May 11, 2009

To quote Madonna, "Holi-dayyyy!"


Today marks my first week of vacation since September of last year.
The weather is finally nice, it's Ellery's big 1 year birthday this Wednesday, and we're heading home for a fishing derby.

What's not to like?

At my hospital, they're starting a new pilot project to retain older nurses. They are offering anyone who is 50 and older with their "magic 80" (the total of age + years of service) the chance to keep working with 6-12 weeks of extra time off. The rate of pay will be %55 of the gross income.

Free money to stay on the payroll but not to work? Where do I sign up?

At the moment, I'm on my "magic 36." That looks awfully sad.
Why wouldn't they offer this to younger nurses, say 25-35? We young'ns always get the shaft.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Loud talkers and white froth

I had this patient last night, who only has one volume - loud!

It's alright when he is talking to you and it's noon, or 3 p.m. but when he is yelling at 2 in the morning as I try to quietly wake him up to do his vital signs, it gets to be a little much.

I asked his roomate if he would like to change rooms. He said not to worry about it, he would have to stop sooner or later.
At one particular point, the patient was talking on his cell phone to his son. He was requesting that his kid bring him in an item from home. From across the curtain, all that I kept on hearing was "It's on my night stand. Bring me a package. A pack. A pack will do..."

The quiet patient with whom I was talking to, motioned for me to lean closer.
He whispered "Do you want to know what he wants his son to bring? Ear plugs."

I guess the loud talking grinds on his own gears after a while.


I really grosses me out when a person is talking to you, and they have that little bit of white froth in the corners of their mouth. It's even worse when it gets so thick that it actually spans out from one lip to another while they are speaking.
I had an instructor in Nursing school who had this problem. My eyes would be drawn to it like a moth to a flame, and you would think that if a person were staring at your mouth the entire time, that you would maybe wipe that shit with a napkin or something.

On that note, have a happy Mother's day tomorrow. Give your moms a kiss, and check for the froth.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Baby's first sick day/fake tanning


Right now Ellery is in the middle of a teething/congested/rashy/can't-stand-to-be-alone-for-a-second mood.
She was supposed to go to my Aunt's house for the day, but I decided that dropping her off for the first time there in this condition was not in anyone's best interest....

We enjoyed some outdoor time, as the weather hit 70 degrees here today. I finally got to put on some shorts, flashing my pasty white legs for the block to see. We all have to start somewhere with the tanning I suppose.

You can always tell the people who fake tan, and the people who fake tan too much. There was a young girl jogging today, and from a distance, she looked like a Sunkist orange. Not natural at all.

I'll take my natural white legs instead of the tangerine look, thank you very much.

So, it's off to the baby sitter tomorrow, as Ali and I head back to that shitty thing called a job.
If I were in Parliament, I would say no work if the temperature is above 70. We should be safe for about three days a year here. ;)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Head West young man


This weekend I will be attending a conference in Calgary, Alberta.
Calgary is one of the most beautiful cities in Canada, and there are so many things that I miss when I lived there.

I will be staying with my cousin Kara, who has always been more like an older sister than a cousin.
I look forward to laughing with her awesome hubby Dave, and some good home cooking.

One of the things that I'm most excited about, is renting a car. I love driving a car like I stole one, and a rental gives you the best opportunity to do so. Being the worry wart that I am though, I have purchased rental car insurance form my local agent, rather than paying a fortune through the rental agency.

My friend Thomas was to come along with me, but there were some family issues which will prevent him from coming.
Sunday night I will try to get together with some old friends and share a beer or two.

On top of all of this, Calgary is in the playoffs, so I will get to see the "Red Mile" first hand.
Now all I need is a Flames jersey....

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wow, we wrangled warm weather, Wreggie!


SO, it finally hot a balmy 16 Celsius today. The snow is melting, and the birds are alive in the sunlight.

I spend the last few days in Ontario with the family, and was actually able to get outside in a T-shirt.

I helped dig out little canals to channel the water out of my parent's yard.

I placed a huge Bomber logo on the back window of my car. Sadly, it's now the most expensive part on my car.

I was finally able to visit my best friend and his wife Irene. It feels like 20 years ago since I've last seen them. His birthday is a month earlier, so he had to add "Now you know what it's like to be 31" to the end of his happy birthday wish to me. Apparently, he's going to do this every year from now on.

Now that I've actually turned 31, it's not such a big deal. Maybe it worried me to think that I was just 30, but not yet into my 30's. Whatever. I'm still young at heart.

Speaking of young, I watched a great special on Neil Young called "Neil Young: Heart of Gold".
I recommend it. Did you know Mr. Young spend his early years here in Winnipeg?

Next month brings the promise of warmer weather (maybe even shorts weather) and Ellery's 1st birthday. I can't wait to see her up to her elbows in chocolate cake.
Speaking of cake, did you or any of your friends ever have money cakes when you were younger?
First, how unsanitary was that, and second, I wonder how many kids suffered from bowel obstructions after swallowing those dirty coins.

Enjoy the rest of the week.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Are you in the band?!?!


With warmer weather comes the start of concert season.

Going to see a live rock show is one of my all time favorite things to do.

This August, AC/DC will be gracing us with their presence at the Winnipeg Stadium.
There aren't many shows that we say we have to go to, but this is one!

Here is my concert resume of some of my favorites:

Bachman Turner Overdrive - my very first concert when I was 7 years old

Green Day - My first concert at the old Winnipeg Arena (my first show by myself)

The Tragically Hip - My all time favorite band, I've seen them 8 times across Canada, but one great show was at the bird Amphitheatre in Minneapolis Zoo. I've also had the privilege of meeting them backstage in Sakatoon, Sk.

The Rolling Stones - I made the mistake of taking my sister, who was wearing a skirt in Winnipeg, in October, at an outdoor show. I watched the entire concert by myself

The Rheostatics - Another of my favorites, I've seen them about 6 times

The Weakerthans - A local Winnipeg band, slowly picking up a solid following of listeners

U2 - The best stage show that I've ever witnessed (on my birthday)

Oasis - Would have been better if it were 10 years ago, but still great none the less

Various outdoor festivals - Including Los Lobos, Sheryl Crow and Wilco

Eagles - Another huge act, probably the best sounding live show I've seen

I wish Canada would get into more outdoor events like the UK. They know how to hold a festival....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm not a fan of freak accidents

A friend of mine got a call the other night that we all dread.

His dad had been out with some friends, building a hunting shelter.

He fell about ten feet, landing on his head and injuring his back.

It turns out that he has a complete spinal cord injury from T3 down, meaning that he'll be paralyzed form the chest down - and that's a best case scenario. He's still fighting in intensive care, and I'm praying for him.

I get stupid patients all the time. Young guys who are surfing on the hood of fast moving cars, drunk drivers, or the "tough guys" who punch their girlfriends in the face and get a raging case of cellulitis and some broken fingers.

It's unfair to see a father of two being responsible and having fun with friends end up in the wheelchair, while these other people walk out with a few bumps and a broken ankle.
I wonder where the justice is sometimes....

This is another part of the job that I don't particularly like.

Sorry to bring everybody down, this has just been weighing on my mind.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"Elite" athletes


So Jay Cutler, QB of my beloved Broncos, is pissed off that the team was listening to offers from other teams about a trade.

He took the low road, publicly announcing that he thought he was the future of the team, and would never play in Denver again.
The kid is in his early 20's, he's signed a deal for 6 year/$48 million, and he's complaining.

With today's economy and people losing their jobs everywhere, I hope nobody shows this idiot any sympathy. I hope he gets traded to a shitty team, and he never sees the playoffs again.
Let them give him something to complain about....


Maybe I'll just cheer for the Panthers full time. At least Julius Peppers is a team player....oh, never mind.

Monday, March 23, 2009

It's the meds, alright....


I've got this little head cold. The kind where everything I do feels like slow motion.

Couple that with this allergy pill that I took last night, and it was a TKO at 9 p.m.

I think the women at Shopper's Drug Mart think I'm a junkie who doesn't know how to pick the right meds. On Saturday, I went in for anti diarrhea pills. Yesterday was sore throat meds, and today was Vicks vaporub, and sinus pills. Talk about an awesome pill party!!!

Anyway, aside from that, it's finally warming up here. I can see greenish grass poking through the remnants of the winter ice, and we enjoyed a walk in the plus 4 weather.
On a side note, why does liquefied dog poo decide to stay on the sidewalk, while everything else just washes away?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Flood watch 2009

It's that lovely time of year again here in Manitoba.
As the snow and ice melts, it brings tons of water from the rivers and the surrounding area.
Our neighbours to the South in Grand Forks ND have the same experiences every year.

Our Province bought an additional "Ice buster" this year. It's a modified back hoe with inflatable platforms, and it goes out and breaks up the ice before the dreaded ice jams begin.

I wonder why people continue to build and live along these flood ways. I guess it's the same reason why people rebuild in tornado alley. Stupidity.
I agree that maybe after you fix your house and property after the first flood, you may decide to stay put. My question is - if you know that it's going to happen again, why would you not begin sand bagging around your house and set up pumps before the shit hits the fan?

There were a few people interviewed on the news tonight. They said that they are not worried about the flood, and they are not preparing for the worst case scenario. These are people who have already suffered lots of damage from the first flood. Stupid. I hope these people do not get insurance coverage for their laziness.

During the devastating flood of 1997, I was volunteering here in Winnipeg while I was a member of the Canadian Armed Forces.
They put us up in an Armoury with about 500 other military personnel, and we alternated from sand bagging duties, to delivering supplies, and manning the radios.

One particular night, I was driving with my commanding officer to a Southern part of the city.
We were on security patrol, as there was no power in the community, and the residents were ordered to evacuate.
I had directions to get to our command post, but all I had to go on was a light on a generator set off in the distance.
The river had swelled well over 10 feet past the banks, and by this time, my headlights were under the murky, cold, fast flowing water.
In our military "Iltis" jeeps, there are fording plates which we fix to the front of the vehicle. As long as the air intake just below the windshield stays dry, the jeep continues to run - even being submerged.
The water was pushing the jeep to the left, and by this time it was almost up to my armpits. I continued to head straight for the lights ahead, with the theme from "Jaws" playing in my head. I was picturing that ride in Disney World where Jaws comes up and bites the boat.
It was an eerie feeling, not being able to see anything ahead of you, your headlights under water, and being tits deep in spring melt water.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, as we were sand bagging later that night, the Labatt brewery truck pulled up.
They started off loading cases of beer, free for anyone to take. We were quickly reminded that this was a "dry exercise", therefore we could not have any alcohol. All of the civilians who were out helping dropped what they were doing, hoisted as much beer as they could carry, and continued to drink all of the beer while we continued to build up the temporary walls of defense.

Oh, I also got some mystery immunizations while on exercise. To this day, they never told us what the shots were for, or what possible long term effects they may have on us.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Eagles review


On Friday night, I had a chance to see a North American iconic band.
As the lights went out, and the announcer said "Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show is about to begin."

And what a show it was.

Glenn Frey took to the microphone, and greeted the sold out crowd. "Hello Winnipeg Manitoba. It's summer in here tonight!!."
After the show, I heard that the band requested that the heat be turned up - to a modest 23 degrees Celsius. Add 15,015 people, and that heat just keeps going up. They wanted it warm to save their voices.

Is it just me, or could Glenn be a long lost twin to Huey Lewis?

It was a two set show, with the band playing mostly older stuff for the first set.
Of course, I was waiting for Hotel California, which began by a guy cast in a red hue, playing a slow sultry trumpet solo.
Don Henley played the drums for this song, and the next three or four songs. I always give a guy credit when he plays the drums and sing at the same time. (See Phil Collins)
Before the show, a guy was telling me that the band has opened with that same song since 1971. Not tonight.

My personal favorite of the evening was "Love will Keep us Alive". Timothy Schmit is hard to look at, but wow, does he have an awesome voice.
Mr. Joe Walsh was also here, gracing us with some kick ass guitar solos. I love how he would get up onto his tippy - toes for those longer high notes.
The band never played "Rocky Mountain Way", as I was hoping for, but Walsh still had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand with "In the city".

For a band that has been feuding for many years, they played very well together.
I found out before the show that all 4 members arrived and left at separate times, with each member having his own dressing room and attendants.

There were even arena staff assigned to keep two of the band mates split up during the intermission.

The view from our seats was amazing. We were to the right of the stage, about 60 feet from the band.
At an average price of $250 per ticket, the Eagles treated their fans to a show worth every penny.
It has been 30 years since they were in Winnipeg (they played an outdoor show in 1978), but they sound as good as they did back then.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I'm speechless...has "Hell Frozen Over?!?!"

I have gotten to know one of my patients pretty well this week.
As he was sitting in his room with his wife last evening, he stopped to ask me a question.

Patient: "Don't feel obligated to say yes, but we were wondering if you would like to accompany us to the Eagles concert tomorrow."

Me:"Uh, YES!!"

Patient: "A good friend of ours is the V.P. of marketing at the local arena, and said that we can bring you along. I'd also feel better if a nurse were to escort me there."

Me: "Uh, yeah, let me talk to my wife, although I'm sure she'll be fine with it..."

Patient: "This will be the first time I've left the hospital in 7 weeks, and I would feel better if you were to come with me. I want you to have fun too."

Can you believe that? He was the one stuck in a hospital bed for the last two months, and he wants me to have fun.
I consider myself to be a casual Eagles fan (my dad is the die-hard), but I want to go just for his sake, so that he can relax and enjoy himself. As he was talking to me, his eyes were filling with tears, and it was hard to say anything, except "I'm flattered that you want me to go."

I will be in a private suite with my patient (now friend), his wife and a bunch of his associates.

I will also be at his beck and call tonight. It has been a long, hard 7 weeks, and I'm going to make sure he can escape from reality for a little while. It's nice to know that there are still genuinely nice people in this world....

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I wear my sunglasses at night.....


Title credit to one of Canada's treasures, Mr. Corey Hart.

While on my drive home from work tonight, I was waiting to turn right on a red light.
A woman exited a nearby money loan place - wearing sunglasses. Uh, it's 8:00 p.m. and it's dark outside. Why the hell are you wearing shades?

I had my window open a crack, since it is a balmy 0 degrees Celsius, and I think I said something along the lines of "Why are you wearing shades, you f'ing moron?"
I guess she heard me judging by the glance she directed my way, then picked up her pace to cross the street.

Pet peeve #5 - people who wear sunglasses at night, or in the bar. This includes you, Mr. Hart....

Monday, March 2, 2009

An alternate universe where my phone doesn't receive phone calls

One thing that really get to me, is when people don't return phone calls.
I leave them a message or two, and expect a call back.

I called my mom on Sunday (her birthday) and said Happy birthday, blah blah, call me back. Nothing.

I call the Nursing agencies that I work with about my availability. They never call back.

I repeatedly call our leasing office to remind them of our broken stove/carpet needing to be cleaned/hole in our bathroom ceiling. No calls back.
Finally, I went in to pay rent today, and reminded them that we are still waiting for a guy to come clean our carpets. The lady (who sports a 1960's beehive hairdo - I shit you not) looked up and said "Oh, he still hasn't done that? He was here yesterday....."

I said no such guy entered our home, so she jotted our suite number down on a piece of paper, and told me that it "may be a while, because we don't have anyone else on the list."
How about US, who have been on this "list" for almost 6 friggin' months!!

The lady did call back about an hour ago to tell me that a painter will be in to look at our bathroom. Here's a quick question - how does paint help hide a hole the size of a quarter in a ceiling? Plus, I really could care less about that right now, I want these carpets cleaned.

I swear to you, we don't live in the slums. I think they get better service. And returned phone calls.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Randoms (What grind my gears pt. 2)

I'd like to know what makes people think that when they're walking towards you shoulder to shoulder, that you are the one that's supposed to move...

Why the guy who works in the Telus phone store in the mall thinks that it's necessary for him to sing show tunes out loud.

Why it's considered trashy if men wear sweat pants out in public, but women can wear them and it's okay. It is trashy, however, when women roll down their waist bands into a huge lump. That's not sexy, it looks like you're wearing a diaper.

Speaking of sweats, who thought it would be cool to put writing on the ass? "Juicy" or "Princess" is one thing....."University of Winnipeg" means that your ass is too big.

Why do people insist on putting their cells phones on speakerphone while driving? I think they are pretending that they are using walkie talkies...

Watching celebrities on an infomercial, pleading for your donations, then showing that the actor has been compensated in the ending credits really pisses me off.

I'm getting tired of calling people's bluffs with these "You've won a free vacation" phone calls. If it's free, why the hell do you need my credit card number?

Why can't people just know when I'm trying to change lanes while driving? I could use the blinker, but it's too far away. My look in the mirror should make things very clear. ;)

If a person tries to add me as a friend on facebook, and I've rejected 15 times, take the fucking hint.


Just some things to think about before a nice weekend break. Have a good one.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Summertime fun

It appears that I'll get some prime holidays again this year.

During my entire 5 year career at the hospital, I have been lucky enough to get some holidays during the warmer months. This year is no different.

I'm planning on taking a week off in May, so I can enjoy my daughter's first birthday.

After that, I'll do my annual fishing trip with the father in law and brother in law.

A week in August to enjoy some camping, and finally the week of football that matters the most - the rematch game after Labour day in September.

I can't complain. There are people that have many more years of seniority, and aren't able to take time off until September or November. Life is good.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Bear sighting


One of my favorite shows on T.V. these days, is a show called "Man vs. Wild".
This stars an ex SAS soldier named Bear (Edward) Grylls who shows you how to survive in the elements, ranging from the Sahara desert to the Canadian Northwest.

I've always enjoyed survival themed shows, but this guy is as hard core as they come.
In previous episodes, I've watched him disembowel a camel to find water, eat live snakes and scorpions, and make shelters and fire while suspended twenty feet in the air between trees.

One of the neatest parts of the show is how he gets to each location. He talks to the camera while he is flying out to the wilderness, then jumps out of the plane/helicopter, free falls for a while, then deploys his parachute.

I once watched another documentary on this guy where he joined the French foreign Legion - just for fun.
Of course he completed the training, and is now a white cap owning member of the Legion.

If you're ever stuck for programming, switch to the Discovery channel and give this show a try.
I bet you'll like him a little too.

Even Ellery has caught Bear fever. One of her little toys is a yellow bear which, we of course, named Bear Grylls.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'm all for brushing your teeth, but....


I pulled into a Domo gas bar today to fill up my tank.
It's a small Manitoba chain with the motto "We jump to the pump for you".

I noticed that as the guy was walking out to fill my tank, he had a toothbrush in his hand.
I rolled down the window and asked him to fill it up.

His response, as he continued to brush his teeth?
"Sure, no problem", followed by him spitting his toothpaste onto the ground.

My question is what was he eating that warranted him to immediately brush his teeth afterwards?
I think he could have waited the two minutes until I was gone.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Can't you just shut up?


On tonight's newscast, there was a segment about people putting out road side memorials in tribute to a loved one.
An old man was interviewed, and was complaining that it was up too long, and he wants the city to take it down.
This had come up a while ago, and a girl fought the city when they asked her to remove a memorial to her uncle who was killed as he was working on a city street. City officials gave her a deadline of 2 months, while she argued that it should remain for at least 6 months.

I'm all for road side memorials. Who are they bothering? Maybe if you happen to live on a street, and an accident happened in front of your house, you would get a little tired of the people coming around. Suck it up. What would you do if it were your family?

The next segment featured a woman fighting a speeding ticket that she had received while speeding through a construction zone. A recent ruling had a judge throw out 9 tickets, because the signs only specified "Slow down while there are workers present."
Evidently, there were no workers around that day. Regardless, it was still designated as a zone where you need to adjust you driving conditions to remain safe.


It appears that people just aren't happy unless they are bitching about all the small things.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Dude....change your shoes!


As I was entering the hospital for work yesterday, I heard the distinct clicking of high heels coming down the hallway.
My brain said "This is a woman coming. Those are high heels that you hear".

Just as I approached the intersection in the hallway, one of the plastic surgery residents that I work with came strolling by, dressed in a nice suit and dress shoes.

Men, never wear shoes that click on hard floors. You just might cause my brain to explode next time.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Various childhood memories

I would like my special power to be the ability to stop time.
I have always thought this would be handy. You see a crime in progress, just stop time and walk over and beat the guy silly.

Either that, or have the ability to completely empty a body of water. This would be cool to see all the crap that has accumulated on the bottom over the years, especially in the Hudson River in NY.
All the bodies, guns, and vehicles would make me rich.
When I was a kid, I often thought of being able to empty lakes, so that I could walk across and pick up the biggest fish. Laziness at it's best!

Also, when I was on long road trips, I would pretend that the knob on the window handle was a remote control to a high speed airplane. As I would look out the window, I would picture the plane flying under signs, through ditches, and of course, if I pushed the button, it would become a 4 X4 car with huge tires.

When I laid in bed as a kid, I imagined that if I closed my eyes, evil things could not see me. I figured that this gave me too big of an advantage to the bad guys, so I compromised. If I had one eye open and one eye closed, bad guys could still see me, but I was like a hologram. That, and I couldn't see them back.
If I closed my eyes, it would have a 3 second delay, so I could still technically be killed even though my eyes were closed.

And, before you ask, yes I did eat glue as a kid.

Friday, January 30, 2009

One on one with Mr. Wreggie


Here is my interview with Wreggie: (Pictured to the right)


What was the biggest misconception about North Carolina?

My biggest misconception was that there would be a lot of log shacks, and people sitting on the porch with greasy stained wife beaters (tank tops)
.
I actually never saw any dumpy neighborhoods while I was there.
What was the biggest Misconception of me, my house, etc?

Since I had never met you, I had a backup plan to just hang out in the airport. You, of course were cool, and your house was actually what I pictured it to be. I wondered if you really liked to joke around as much as you said you did. Yep. When I first saw your house on Google maps, I was trying to locate the axes...Oh, and I loved the dogs too.

Was NFL like what you thought it would be?

The whole NFL experience has made me a better man. I literally tell everyone I can about how fun the day was, especially the tailgate party. It's now your turn to experience the CFL in all it's glory.
If a pig drink a quart of buttermilk before he starts, and runs a mile before he farts, the farther he runs the farther he gets...how far will it be before he shits?
He will poo at the 2.54367124532 mile mark. Or, right next to a huge restaurant window, for all to enjoy.

How many minutes did you spend with Gigi?
My time with Gigi was short, but sweet. Total talk time was about 1 hour, but it was quality, not quantity. She definitely has the gift of gab, and I could talk to that girl for ages. She comes from good genes, Larry touched my heart too.

I enjoyed it dude. Can't wait before you guys come back.
Ditto. More golf, more grits, and more laughs.
Thanks again for helping Ali with one of the best Christmas presents ever!!

I'll see if I can fit you in...

Hey, even the Dali Lama loves the Bombers!!

The Canadian Football League has released it's 2009 schedule.
This is when I write down every Blue Bomber home game in my little calender, then present it to my manager, who then ensures that I have these games off.

I owe her one.

I'm hoping to take Ellery to a game this year. Once I know she can stay entertained for a while, she can begin the Bomber experience.
That little jersey is getting smaller by the day, so she had better get some use out of it soon.

Then, of course, when it comes time to book my holidays, I'll be sure to take the second week of September off, so I can get ready for the hated arch nemesis that is the Saskatchewan Roughriders...

Can't wait for training camp to start on May!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Getting in touch with my inner "Gemini"



Following an example of my dear Ali and Wreggie's blogs...

I was wondering who the first person to drink cow's milk was up to....

Why people argue that humans aren't meant to eat meat because we have "rounded" teeth. The last time I checked, we have called Canine teeth for a reason.

Why we can't sneeze with our eyes open. I'm still trying to do that one.

Why is it physically impossible to lick your own elbow?

Why is it called your funny bone? It hurts like hell!

How come nobody has invented a word (Ebonics or otherwise) that rhymes with orange?

Why don't we have a Bojangle's chicken and biscuits here in Winnipeg?









Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I see stars

I just finished watching the Nicholas Cage movie "Bangkok Dangerous".
Not bad, but a messed up ending.

I have always been impartial to Nick Cage, err, Coppola. I don't love him, don't hate him. This got me to thinking about actors that I like, and others that I wish would just go away.

Actors that I like:

Charleton Heston. One of my all time favorites.

Jason Statham. Abs like mine, plus, I dig the accent.

Jet Li. That man can do some crazy ass stunts. My genitals hurt just thinking of trying some of them.

Brad Pitt. In fight Club and Snatch Brad , not Legends of The Fall Brad.

Will Farrell. In Anchorman, not Semi Pro. Nothing too deep, just like him when I want to laugh.

Nick Swardson. He has cameos in a lot of movies, but his best role is Terry on Reno 911, and and Jeff on Grandma's Boy. Plus, he has a fuckin' sweet car bed....

Kevin Spacey. Good in The Usual Suspects, and who really cares if he is gay?

Actors that I hate:

Jean Claude Van Damme. Need I say more? I get it, you can do the splits....

Colin Farrell. Whiny, and I'd kick his whiny ass like the whiny little rich puke that he is.

Any musician that "doubles" as an actor. Insert Jessica Simpson, Jamie Foxx, Lindsay Lohan, Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. name here.

Jonah Hill. Can you say type cast? "Here's your character. You're a large lovable loser with a potty mouth, who's always yelling and mad that you can't get laid."

Samuel L. Jackson. Why are you always yelling? It worked in Pulp Fiction, but that was like 15 years ago. Try something new.

This is a list of just a few people who really grind my gears. Feel free to add yours.

Monday, January 19, 2009

That....is disgusting!!!

I was thinking about how many people I catch picking their nose while they drive.

It isn't limited to just young men either. Even though younger men are dubbed the pigs of the earth (wearing the same undies for days on end, and using up every clean dish until you're actually eating from an empty pop bottle cut up to fashion a bowl, etc), I've actually seen older business women driving BMW's and Range Rovers indulging in a quick snack too.

First of all, EEWW!! Second of all, every time I've been guilty of cleaning my nose, it's never been something that I've thought "Man, I just have to eat that!"

This make me wonder what these people lacked as kids. Maybe their moms didn't cook with enough garlic, and that just reminds them of mom's home cooking.

This also reminds me of one of Ali's former classmates who would scratch her scalp, then proceed to dig up the dried skin from underneath her nails with her teeth.
The worst part was how she'd justify it. "Well, I was hungry!!".

I've eaten some nasty foods in my day, including raw caribou and bull's testicles, but never would I stoop to those levels. I've got my pride ;)

So, the next time you're on the open road, take a quick peek to the car stopped next to you at that red light. See if they actually stop when they notice you staring at them, or see if they are just too hungry to care.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Why are Canadians dumb?

Just look at the climate we live in.....

It's currently -29 Celcius, and it's supposed to go down to -34 tonight. Great.

To top it all of, I have a piece of shit 1993 Cavalier that decided that I don't deserve heat any longer.
This is just one of the many "features" my car has. It's other selling points are a defrost that hardly does it's job, and a rear defrost that lasts as long as a 15 year old boy looking at a Playboy magazine.

So, needless to say, I'm at my wits end. I'm thinking of calling my grandma to see if I can borrow her car for the next few months. This is, of course, if I can pry it out of my greedy aunts/cousins hands long enough to get it out of the driveway.
This is the same car that Ali and I borrowed after her beloved 'Tunia (R.I.P) was stolen a few years back.
The only difference - if we borrow it, we wash it, put gas in it, clean it, and show our appreciation by getting her flowers and a thank you card. All my asshole family does is drive it until it's empty, and add a few new dents and scratches every time they get behind the wheel.

Tough choice?

If any of you have an inexpensive vehicle to donate to Chris' work fund, let me know. I'll get you as many rubber gloves and suppositories as you can handle.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Just where exactly are the cockles of the heart?

Anyway, here are a few things that warm those "cockles".

I love hearing Ellery say "Dada". I'll love it even more when she knows how to use it to her advantage.

I love packing up the family and venturing outside in the cold winter air for a brisk walk.

I love watching football in HD. I never really appreciated the difference until I got hooked up.

I love relaxing and ice fishing in an ice shack. Nothing beats manly conversation and fish.

I love mom's home cooking. I just have to get her to pick up on Southern comfort food...

I love driving on long road trips. Especially the ones I had with my best friend Mike.

I love having a date night with Ali. We haven't made much time for each other lately, but I think it's time for dinner and a movie (her choice).

I love staying in hotel rooms.

I love a good zombie movie.

I love when Ellery smiles so hard it looks like her face is going to crack. She's doing it right now...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Beware!! Rant coming on!!

99% of the time, I love my job. I love working at a hospital, I like the people I work with, and I really enjoy getting to know patients and their families.

The other 1% of the time, I have to deal with stuff that I'm not fully prepared for, like deaths on our ward, or somebody falling and breaking their arm, only for the x-ray to reveal that they're riddled with cancer.

I work on a Trauma/Orthopedics ward. I deal with broken bones, and back surgeries. For the most part, the Surgeons that I work with are all excellent when dealing with their issues. However, when somebody gets a less desirable diagnosis, other services (IE. Medical Oncologists, or Nephrologists) are slow to pick up the slack. This leaves us nurses in a very tough spot, seeing as we advocate for our patients and do the fighting with the doctors on behalf of the family.

If a person is a newly diagnosed Diabetic, or if the doctors do discover a mass on a lung, it has to come from the doctors. Most of the time, they try to leave it up to the nurses to inform the patients, or see how much the family knows without actually talking to them.

In health care, we all have to give news that not be what anyone wants to hear. There is a fine line between maintaining professionalism and breaking news without showing any empathy. I think that Doctors have to remember that they are humans first, and professionals second.

P.S. I still get teary-eyed when I have bad news. This is why I'm a nurse I guess.
If I were a robot, I would have attended Med. school.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New Year's (Re)solutions

Here we are, 4 days into the new year.
Like many others, I have set goals in the past, only to crash and burn.
This is a list of things that I want to happen, mostly for others.

1. I want my Winnipeg Blue Bombers to finally win it all.

2. I want Ellery to have an awesome 1st birthday party.

3. I would love for somebody close to me to win the lottery.

4. Actually cash in some Air Miles for something.

5. Help Ali get excited about work again.

6. Maybe attend some more concerts.

7. Take the family camping.

8. Go on day trips.

9. Make a stronger effort to stay in touch with friends.

10. Hopefully become an uncle.

There. 10 little things that I hope that 2009 will bring. Wish us luck!