Friday, January 30, 2009

One on one with Mr. Wreggie

Here is my interview with Wreggie: (Pictured to the right)

What was the biggest misconception about North Carolina?

My biggest misconception was that there would be a lot of log shacks, and people sitting on the porch with greasy stained wife beaters (tank tops)
I actually never saw any dumpy neighborhoods while I was there.
What was the biggest Misconception of me, my house, etc?

Since I had never met you, I had a backup plan to just hang out in the airport. You, of course were cool, and your house was actually what I pictured it to be. I wondered if you really liked to joke around as much as you said you did. Yep. When I first saw your house on Google maps, I was trying to locate the axes...Oh, and I loved the dogs too.

Was NFL like what you thought it would be?

The whole NFL experience has made me a better man. I literally tell everyone I can about how fun the day was, especially the tailgate party. It's now your turn to experience the CFL in all it's glory.
If a pig drink a quart of buttermilk before he starts, and runs a mile before he farts, the farther he runs the farther he far will it be before he shits?
He will poo at the 2.54367124532 mile mark. Or, right next to a huge restaurant window, for all to enjoy.

How many minutes did you spend with Gigi?
My time with Gigi was short, but sweet. Total talk time was about 1 hour, but it was quality, not quantity. She definitely has the gift of gab, and I could talk to that girl for ages. She comes from good genes, Larry touched my heart too.

I enjoyed it dude. Can't wait before you guys come back.
Ditto. More golf, more grits, and more laughs.
Thanks again for helping Ali with one of the best Christmas presents ever!!

I'll see if I can fit you in...

Hey, even the Dali Lama loves the Bombers!!

The Canadian Football League has released it's 2009 schedule.
This is when I write down every Blue Bomber home game in my little calender, then present it to my manager, who then ensures that I have these games off.

I owe her one.

I'm hoping to take Ellery to a game this year. Once I know she can stay entertained for a while, she can begin the Bomber experience.
That little jersey is getting smaller by the day, so she had better get some use out of it soon.

Then, of course, when it comes time to book my holidays, I'll be sure to take the second week of September off, so I can get ready for the hated arch nemesis that is the Saskatchewan Roughriders...

Can't wait for training camp to start on May!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Getting in touch with my inner "Gemini"

Following an example of my dear Ali and Wreggie's blogs...

I was wondering who the first person to drink cow's milk was up to....

Why people argue that humans aren't meant to eat meat because we have "rounded" teeth. The last time I checked, we have called Canine teeth for a reason.

Why we can't sneeze with our eyes open. I'm still trying to do that one.

Why is it physically impossible to lick your own elbow?

Why is it called your funny bone? It hurts like hell!

How come nobody has invented a word (Ebonics or otherwise) that rhymes with orange?

Why don't we have a Bojangle's chicken and biscuits here in Winnipeg?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I see stars

I just finished watching the Nicholas Cage movie "Bangkok Dangerous".
Not bad, but a messed up ending.

I have always been impartial to Nick Cage, err, Coppola. I don't love him, don't hate him. This got me to thinking about actors that I like, and others that I wish would just go away.

Actors that I like:

Charleton Heston. One of my all time favorites.

Jason Statham. Abs like mine, plus, I dig the accent.

Jet Li. That man can do some crazy ass stunts. My genitals hurt just thinking of trying some of them.

Brad Pitt. In fight Club and Snatch Brad , not Legends of The Fall Brad.

Will Farrell. In Anchorman, not Semi Pro. Nothing too deep, just like him when I want to laugh.

Nick Swardson. He has cameos in a lot of movies, but his best role is Terry on Reno 911, and and Jeff on Grandma's Boy. Plus, he has a fuckin' sweet car bed....

Kevin Spacey. Good in The Usual Suspects, and who really cares if he is gay?

Actors that I hate:

Jean Claude Van Damme. Need I say more? I get it, you can do the splits....

Colin Farrell. Whiny, and I'd kick his whiny ass like the whiny little rich puke that he is.

Any musician that "doubles" as an actor. Insert Jessica Simpson, Jamie Foxx, Lindsay Lohan, Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. name here.

Jonah Hill. Can you say type cast? "Here's your character. You're a large lovable loser with a potty mouth, who's always yelling and mad that you can't get laid."

Samuel L. Jackson. Why are you always yelling? It worked in Pulp Fiction, but that was like 15 years ago. Try something new.

This is a list of just a few people who really grind my gears. Feel free to add yours.

Monday, January 19, 2009 disgusting!!!

I was thinking about how many people I catch picking their nose while they drive.

It isn't limited to just young men either. Even though younger men are dubbed the pigs of the earth (wearing the same undies for days on end, and using up every clean dish until you're actually eating from an empty pop bottle cut up to fashion a bowl, etc), I've actually seen older business women driving BMW's and Range Rovers indulging in a quick snack too.

First of all, EEWW!! Second of all, every time I've been guilty of cleaning my nose, it's never been something that I've thought "Man, I just have to eat that!"

This make me wonder what these people lacked as kids. Maybe their moms didn't cook with enough garlic, and that just reminds them of mom's home cooking.

This also reminds me of one of Ali's former classmates who would scratch her scalp, then proceed to dig up the dried skin from underneath her nails with her teeth.
The worst part was how she'd justify it. "Well, I was hungry!!".

I've eaten some nasty foods in my day, including raw caribou and bull's testicles, but never would I stoop to those levels. I've got my pride ;)

So, the next time you're on the open road, take a quick peek to the car stopped next to you at that red light. See if they actually stop when they notice you staring at them, or see if they are just too hungry to care.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Why are Canadians dumb?

Just look at the climate we live in.....

It's currently -29 Celcius, and it's supposed to go down to -34 tonight. Great.

To top it all of, I have a piece of shit 1993 Cavalier that decided that I don't deserve heat any longer.
This is just one of the many "features" my car has. It's other selling points are a defrost that hardly does it's job, and a rear defrost that lasts as long as a 15 year old boy looking at a Playboy magazine.

So, needless to say, I'm at my wits end. I'm thinking of calling my grandma to see if I can borrow her car for the next few months. This is, of course, if I can pry it out of my greedy aunts/cousins hands long enough to get it out of the driveway.
This is the same car that Ali and I borrowed after her beloved 'Tunia (R.I.P) was stolen a few years back.
The only difference - if we borrow it, we wash it, put gas in it, clean it, and show our appreciation by getting her flowers and a thank you card. All my asshole family does is drive it until it's empty, and add a few new dents and scratches every time they get behind the wheel.

Tough choice?

If any of you have an inexpensive vehicle to donate to Chris' work fund, let me know. I'll get you as many rubber gloves and suppositories as you can handle.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Just where exactly are the cockles of the heart?

Anyway, here are a few things that warm those "cockles".

I love hearing Ellery say "Dada". I'll love it even more when she knows how to use it to her advantage.

I love packing up the family and venturing outside in the cold winter air for a brisk walk.

I love watching football in HD. I never really appreciated the difference until I got hooked up.

I love relaxing and ice fishing in an ice shack. Nothing beats manly conversation and fish.

I love mom's home cooking. I just have to get her to pick up on Southern comfort food...

I love driving on long road trips. Especially the ones I had with my best friend Mike.

I love having a date night with Ali. We haven't made much time for each other lately, but I think it's time for dinner and a movie (her choice).

I love staying in hotel rooms.

I love a good zombie movie.

I love when Ellery smiles so hard it looks like her face is going to crack. She's doing it right now...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Beware!! Rant coming on!!

99% of the time, I love my job. I love working at a hospital, I like the people I work with, and I really enjoy getting to know patients and their families.

The other 1% of the time, I have to deal with stuff that I'm not fully prepared for, like deaths on our ward, or somebody falling and breaking their arm, only for the x-ray to reveal that they're riddled with cancer.

I work on a Trauma/Orthopedics ward. I deal with broken bones, and back surgeries. For the most part, the Surgeons that I work with are all excellent when dealing with their issues. However, when somebody gets a less desirable diagnosis, other services (IE. Medical Oncologists, or Nephrologists) are slow to pick up the slack. This leaves us nurses in a very tough spot, seeing as we advocate for our patients and do the fighting with the doctors on behalf of the family.

If a person is a newly diagnosed Diabetic, or if the doctors do discover a mass on a lung, it has to come from the doctors. Most of the time, they try to leave it up to the nurses to inform the patients, or see how much the family knows without actually talking to them.

In health care, we all have to give news that not be what anyone wants to hear. There is a fine line between maintaining professionalism and breaking news without showing any empathy. I think that Doctors have to remember that they are humans first, and professionals second.

P.S. I still get teary-eyed when I have bad news. This is why I'm a nurse I guess.
If I were a robot, I would have attended Med. school.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New Year's (Re)solutions

Here we are, 4 days into the new year.
Like many others, I have set goals in the past, only to crash and burn.
This is a list of things that I want to happen, mostly for others.

1. I want my Winnipeg Blue Bombers to finally win it all.

2. I want Ellery to have an awesome 1st birthday party.

3. I would love for somebody close to me to win the lottery.

4. Actually cash in some Air Miles for something.

5. Help Ali get excited about work again.

6. Maybe attend some more concerts.

7. Take the family camping.

8. Go on day trips.

9. Make a stronger effort to stay in touch with friends.

10. Hopefully become an uncle.

There. 10 little things that I hope that 2009 will bring. Wish us luck!